Peter Doocy Cries To Jen Psaki Over Fox Christmas Cone Arson

Peter Doocy Cries To Jen Psaki Over Fox Christmas Cone Arson

Either the folks at Fox are still really hurting over their burning Christmas cone, or they’re really mad at Peter Doocy, but whatever the reason, they made him bring it up in Jen Psaki’s briefing room.

“Just in the last week we saw a New York Post item about a pickpocket with more than thirty arrests, back out on the street. We’ve seen an arsonist burn down a half-a-million dollar Christmas tree in New York City, back out on the street. Does the president think that that’s good governing?” He asked with a quiet earnestness he’d probably practiced in the mirror a hundred times.

Did he think he was being clever? Was he going for subtlety in how he referred to the ghastly Christmas metal thing that was set ablaze outside Fox Studios in Manhattan?

Who wants to guess how I would have handled that question?

*I* would have said, “Peter, if you’re talking about the thing that went up in flames outside the Fox studio, that wasn’t a tree. It was a set of metallic wires in an upside-down cone shape, with flammable fake green plastic probably made from the solidified toxic run-off Republicans like to dump into poor neighborhoods in the dead of night. And maybe if you people didn’t lie so much, God wouldn’t have set your plastic green cone on fire with her Jewish Space Laser.”

But, of course, Psaki didn’t say that. She acted like a professional smart person doing her job. Behavior with which Doocy continues to be thoroughly unfamiliar.

“Again, I think I’ve spoken to the president’s concerns about retail theft. If you have specifics on any actions we’ve taken for specific cases, I would point you to the local police departments, or the Department of Justice,” Psaki told him.

If only ignoring Doocy would make him go away.

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