Late Night Monologues Poke Fun At 'Text-Gate'

Late Night Monologues Poke Fun At 'Text-Gate'

All those Fox Hosts (and Don Jr.!) who texted Mark Meadows got the late-night treatment from Tuesday’s monologues.

Stephen Colbert (above):

“The big story here of course is what else the committee revealed last night. Turns out, during the riot, Meadows received urgent text messages from multiple Fox News hosts and the president’s son Don Jr., who wrote: “We need an Oval Office address. He has to lead now.” Okay, that reveals two things about Don Jr.: one, he knew his dad was responsible and failing to lead. And, two, he does not have his father’s cell phone number. Can’t give it to him! Can’t give it to him. You cannot give Don– you cannot give Don that number. It’s too risky. He might give it to Eric!”

“Ingraham wasn’t the only Fox fraud freaking out. Meadows also got texts from a bunch of Fox stars: Brian Kilmeade, Sean Hannity. He even got an Instagram post from Judge Jeanine’s box of wine. Now, keep in mind, these Fox News hosts pushed the big election lie for months leading up to January 6, and then when their obedient viewers stormed the Capitol, they acted all surprised. Reminds me of Charles Manson’s statement after he was arrested: “they did what?! I was kidding! Helter Sorry.” “

Jimmy Fallon:

“Last night the January 6th commission revealed that during the Capitol riots, the White House chief of staff got texts for pleading for Trump to calm things down from Fox News anchors and Donald Trump Jr. Yeah Trump ignored the advice of the closest to him and also Don Jr. Trump was like, “If I replied to every text that said ’what you’re doing is crazy,’ I’d never get anything done. Yeah, it came out that Fox News hosts were begging for Trump do something. And today’s Fox News hosts lit their tree on fire again just to change the subject.”

Jimmy Kimmel:

“There were a whole bunch of texts from freaked-out Republicans trapped in the Capitol, also texts from the gang at Fox News. Sean Hannity, Brian Kilmeade, and Laura Ingraham all texted Mark Meadows, urging him to urge Trump to stop the insanity. Insanity. Gee, if only they had some sort of media outlet where they could have said that publicly. And of course, the right-wingers are furious with fellow Republican Liz Cheney for doing the right thing. Liz Cheney is the vice-chair of the House committee investigating this attack on our democracy. And listening to her read these texts aloud is as damning as it gets for Donald Trump and the Fox News sycophants who suckle his flabby pink teats.”

“As the Capitol was getting stormed, Don Jr. Pleaded with Mark Meadows. He texted, ‘he’s got to condemn this asap, the capitol police tweet is not enough.’ Another text, ‘we need an Oval Office address, he has to lead now, it’s gotten too far and gotten out of hand.’ And then this text, he said, ‘dad, you have to stop this right now.’ He wrote back, “who is this?” I never thought I’d say this. Donald Trump Jr., a man who glues his beard to his face every morning, was right. The president did nothing for hours. As a result, people died. Of course, Don Jr. has spent the last 11 months praising his father’s lack of action. And Eric, his son Eric Trump, did not send any texts at all. He did not text Mark Meadows, because in fairness he was stuck in a claw machine.”

Trevor Noah:

Get you a man who loves you the way Mark Meadows loves overthrowing democracy! I love it! I love it! To be fair though, I love it is also what you send when you want the other person to think you actually read through all their texts when you didn’t. So maybe it was like that with Mark Meadows? I don’t know. The fact is though, it looks like Mark Meadows was very involved in Trump’s plan to overturn the election. He pushed the Justice Department to investigate made-up voter fraud. He tried to block states from certifying electors and made Trump lick the Oval Office desk to claim dibs.”

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